She pushed it aside and watched Lori washing up in front of her, with her back to the girls. She tapped Shenae on the shoulder who looked at her, Annalynne then circled her finger at the side of her head and mouthed ‘crazy bitch’ with her eyes as wide as she could. Shenae nodded frantically and pointed to her bottom, bending her knees and closing her eyes. Annalynne silently nodded and looked at Jess who nodded, with eyes that screamed ‘what the fuck?’ One of them needed to say something, but they were scared that they would be spanked again. Suddenly, Annalynne realised that there was three of them and only one of her, she tried to motion it to the others but Lori turned around. ‘Eat your cereal Annalynne.’ ‘I’m not hungry.’ ‘Do you want me to spoon feed it you Annalynne?’ Lori asked picking up her spoon at the other side of the counter and holding it up, Annalynne stepped backwards. ‘No, Lori…’ ‘Mrs Loughlin.’ ‘Fine, no Mrs Loughlin, I’m not hungry, I’m very hungover and annoyed.’. "Jill, I need to know where I stand in this." The wheedling returned, replacing the anger with a feeling of desolation."Rob, don't let your own insecurities make more out of this than there really is, okay?" She had turned back to face me, reinforcing her words. There was no more to be said, or at least, no more she was going to allow to be said; the subject was closed until she deemed the time to be right.Faced with her silence and resolute determination not to talk about it any further, I grabbed my coat and left them to the peace of the kitchen.Why does it always rain when you want some thinking time in the park? I walked along side the canal, blaming myself for my inadequacies, perhaps I could have been a better lover, been more attentive and tried harder to give her kids. Yes a kid; that was the answer. If we had a kid, then this probably wouldn't have happened. It was the first time the lack of children had featured in my thinking. We didn't have any and up to now, that had been.
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